She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
