someone get that fucking seahorse.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
