Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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