I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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