So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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