Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
