$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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