i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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