After last night, I could never be a politician.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
