talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
