dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
