Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
