I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
