On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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