Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize