escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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