i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize