A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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