I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
