he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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