On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's blow job season.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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