I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
