we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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