So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
