Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
