apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize