Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
