what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
