Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
