she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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