so explain again why im purple
no
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Randomize
