I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm like, not good at living.