burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?