I'm gonna have a badass scar
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dating After Heartbreak
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.