Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(419): I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady... http://tfl.nu/mk09

Replies (1) Good night (1327) Bad night (457)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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(609): i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier. http://tfl.nu/075q

Replies (14) Good night (4462) Bad night (580)
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(801): View more from Utah

He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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(801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o

Replies (79) Good night (8844) Bad night (3071)
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(207): View more from Maine

Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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(207): Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices http://tfl.nu/clic

Replies (34) Good night (7429) Bad night (1215)
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(772): View more from Florida

No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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(772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm

Replies (2) Good night (2913) Bad night (1013)
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(727): View more from Florida

at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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(727): at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry. http://tfl.nu/0y0u

Replies (8) Good night (2575) Bad night (823)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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(910): I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers http://tfl.nu/vom9

Replies (16) Good night (1101) Bad night (5212)
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(720): View more from Colorado

yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.

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(720): yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer. http://tfl.nu/fsjr

Replies (4) Good night (2811) Bad night (667)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

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(678): You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary. http://tfl.nu/2yw2

Replies (15) Good night (1636) Bad night (512)
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(518): View more from New York

Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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(518): Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair http://tfl.nu/llhv

Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (863)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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(720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0

Replies (10) Good night (1688) Bad night (459)
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(813): View more from Florida

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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(813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8

Replies (15) Good night (738) Bad night (1337)
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(512): View more from Texas

Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.

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(512): Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/nub3

Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (402)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

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(303): I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes. http://tfl.nu/8g0z

Replies (6) Good night (828) Bad night (791)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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(605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn

Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (262)

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