Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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(480): View more from Arizona

You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(660): View more from Missouri

i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting

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(901): View more from Tennessee

At least you have booty calls.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You almost set me on fire last night.

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

You probably deserved it.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂

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