K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
