his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit