yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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