Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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(662): New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests? http://tfl.nu/8lkf

Replies (15) Good night (2719) Bad night (1028)
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(480): View more from Arizona

so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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(480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m

Replies (91) Good night (4463) Bad night (16695)
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(517): View more from Michigan

my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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(517): my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab. http://tfl.nu/ejcr

Replies (22) Good night (654) Bad night (5146)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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(504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf

Replies (42) Good night (2466) Bad night (7341)
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(716): View more from New York

One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

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(716): One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. http://tfl.nu/aaag

Replies (16) Good night (5447) Bad night (1138)
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(516): View more from New York

That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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(516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo

Replies (13) Good night (1756) Bad night (3327)
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(205): View more from Alabama

This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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(205): This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/uwhu

Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (2108)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm romantic.

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(306): I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones. (306): I'm romantic. http://tfl.nu/dair

Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (584)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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(613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf

Replies (10) Good night (2617) Bad night (560)
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(850): View more from Florida

I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.

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(850): I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25. http://tfl.nu/pimr

Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (445)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..

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(484): You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them.. http://tfl.nu/tn7r

Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (442)
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(903): View more from Texas

How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?

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(903): How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing? http://tfl.nu/tt7s

Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (347)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors

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(250): Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors http://tfl.nu/eym3

Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (376)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak

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(306): of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak http://tfl.nu/lfx1

Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (443)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.

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(843): My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body. http://tfl.nu/afd3

Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (562)

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