im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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