Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Randomize
