Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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