I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
