my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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