"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have aggressive nipples.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
