I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
