its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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