Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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