did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
