Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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