(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
