I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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