I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
