If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
