He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
