we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
