I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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