I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
why do cheetos always look like penises
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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