I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
