just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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