I feel like abortions should bother me more
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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