Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
