we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
