I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
