I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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