brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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