I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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