Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
