Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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  (530): Those balls look pretty dangerous. http://tfl.nu/vdt4
  Replies (6) Good night (2796) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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  (609): She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good. http://tfl.nu/1igy
  Replies (113) Good night (1709) Bad night (10882) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen

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  (919): I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen http://tfl.nu/2b2i
  Replies (472) Good night (3991) Bad night (6438) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

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  (630): I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing. http://tfl.nu/6g2i
  Replies (17) Good night (1164) Bad night (3806) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

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  (419): I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem. http://tfl.nu/zh9s
  Replies (29) Good night (1105) Bad night (5785) Order T-Shirt
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

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  (+49): The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed? http://tfl.nu/pvwt
  Replies (8) Good night (3791) Bad night (1194) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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  (612): i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore. http://tfl.nu/6de5
  Replies (14) Good night (3603) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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  (214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt
  Replies (5) Good night (1517) Bad night (634)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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  (204): I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night http://tfl.nu/wncj
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (1895) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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  (802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob
  Replies (4) Good night (1609) Bad night (1171)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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  (215): Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know. http://tfl.nu/nlx4
  Replies (6) Good night (1508) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.

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  (319): I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks. http://tfl.nu/yrtx
  Replies (2) Good night (805) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.

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  (813): I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller. http://tfl.nu/9m9c
  Replies (7) Good night (379) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

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  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1256) Bad night (477)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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  (240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8
  Replies (3) Good night (116) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt

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